Life through my lense

This month, I’m trying to make a conscious effort to go within. Years before COVID shifted all of our worlds, I was a very dedicated yoga attendee. It fuelled me, and it was the calmest time of my life. I started in a gym, where the yoga instructors captured my attention for 7 years. It was a new passion, that quickly turned into a way of life. I would attend 4-5 times per week, and some classes would last almost 2 hours. It was intense. Hard. Inspiring. Emotional. It ultimately led me to get to a high intermediate level, but most importantly…only the second time I truly felt that I could calm my mind (the first being in my late teens, in Waterton National Park. That time, calmness came from an incredibly close community and a major passion for hiking).

In recent years, change after change has arisen. Stressor after stressor. This should have been when I leaned into my practice the most. Instead, my mat remained rolled up in the corner of my bedroom. I was too embarrassed to attend a class, having gotten so far away from the practice and so out of shape. I avoided a home practice as well.

10 days ago, I decided it was time. Slowly and steadily, I have started a daily practice. A daily routine, immediately after work. I have turned down social outings, as I need to do this reset. Right now, I am after a 21 day consecutive challenge. That need to establish consistency. That need to reflect, know myself, and calm the inward feelings. Help ease the anxiety, the depression, the insomnia, the emptiness. Know myself again.

As a dear friend reminded me recently, the body remembers. The flow begins, the poses return. Yes, I am not so nimble. Yes, I have already overstrained my neck and left shoulder. But I continue. Finding myself on the mat and within.